CNN has an Oprah.com article up about parents creating children who value material things more the people (or tomorrow’s CEOs) (Mom’s gift to kids: ‘No!’). Being an Oprah piece it was geared towards Moms, but this applies just as much to Dads. The piece also assumes the type of parents who care about their kids and want to do what’s right. Unfortunately, there are people with children who just aren’t capable of being parents. This article isn’t for them.
Parents, Rabbi Shmuley says, need to realize that discipline is love. “‘No’ is just as loving as saying ‘yes,’” he says.
The article focuses on why parents don’t say “no” and why they spoil their kids with gifts. Some parents are too tired (or lazy) to discipline their children. Or they may feel guilty about not spending enough quality time with them, so they make up for it with gifts.
Dr. Robin Smith says Rebecca is trying to make up for her perceived inadequacy as a single working mom by showering Brandon and Stephanie with gifts. This places so much emphasis on material goods that the children are learning to define themselves by material things.
By discipline I’ll assume he means setting rules & boundaries, saying no when those are broken, and being consistent with the follow through. As a parent-to-be I’ve heard this is tough. The more rules you set, the harder it is to enforce them all the time, and the more time you’ll spend disciplining your children. The soundest advice I’ve heard on the matter is to pick a few rules & boundaries that you think are the most important and enforce those consistently.
Thoughts? Feel free to share them in the comments.